From Paradise Lost to Paradise Found

“Hello and welcome to hell.”

This was the greeting my other half and I received as we arrived at the beautiful Seychelles in the heart of the Indian Ocean. It wasn't exactly said in those words but it wasn't far off.

“Oh, it's your birthday today,” said the guy who welcomed us to the hotel as he filled out our passport details. His eyes lit up at the thought.

“You are the same age as my little brother,” he told me.

“Oh... nice,” I replied with a smile.

“He died two months ago.”

“Oh.”

How are you supposed to answer a comment like that!? Well of course we were suitably apologetic which encouraged the concierge to sit down with us and tell us about his family tragedy and the disappointments of life on the Seychelles – all within 30 minutes of arriving.

His brother, it turned out, had left behind three children and encountered many problems in life. As for the concierge, he was desperate to leave the Seychelles and return to England where he had lived for many happy years previously. In fact, it turned out that he and I lived just down the road from each other in Manchester.

I'm not sure what it is about me that makes people want to tell me their life tragedies within minutes of meeting. Maybe I just look like an understanding kind of person. I guess I am. Even in primary school, I was always the designated counsellor – the person that people would come to, to talk about their problems. In my family life, I was always a negotiator, levelling out arguments and trying to make everyone get along. Even in work situations, I've always been the peace maker – the one who stands at the sideline of arguments trying to appease anyone and everyone – usually at my own expense.

Well anyway, it wasn't long before our concierge told us in no uncertain terms that we had quite literally arrived in hell.

“People in England used to ask me why on earth I would move from a place like the Seychelles to England,” he said. “They say this is paradise. But I love England – even with the rain. There is so much to do there.”

He frowns for a moment before continuing.

“Here, there's nothing to do,” he says. “Yes, people say it's a paradise, but paradise can very quickly turn into hell.”

“Hmm,” we both agree sympathetically.

“All you can do here is swim in the sea,” he says. “But what do I want to swim in the sea for? I haven't been to the beach in 16 years!”

By this stage I was half sympathetic and half amused at the words of doom being dished out by a designated holiday rep. At the same time I recognised his sentiment from my years in Dubai – a life that often sounds very picture perfect to outsiders, but as many expats quickly discover, paradise rarely measures up to the pictures in the guide books. Sooner or later you crave a whole lot more to life than the luxury of a dip in the sea or a pool in your back yard. In a place like Dubai, luxury soon becomes the nostalgia of grotty dive bars, rainy days, a hint of sunshine through smoke coloured clouds and the familiar faces of long lost friends.

Changing the conversation he asked us what we planned to do on our holiday.

“Well we'd quite like to do some snorkelling,” we said.

“Oh no, the sea is far too rough right now. Unless you want to drown.”

“Hmmm... Well we would love to do some nature walks. Do you have any info about trails?”

“It's been raining for the past couple of days. It's far too slippery to go walking right now. Besides, you need a guide and he's off at the moment.”

By this stage my other half and I were looking at each other with worried expressions. Two of the reasons came here were already seemingly crossed off the list.

“Well we were thinking of hiring a car and exploring the island,” we said. “Can we hire a car at the hotel?”

“Oh no! Have you seen the roads here!? The way people drive here is very dangerous. It's far too dangerous to drive in the Seychelles.”

By this stage, the word alarm about our holiday prospects – or lack of – was putting it mildly. We were grateful to be told our room was ready.

Anyway, we did all of those things and had a brilliant holiday. We didn't drown, fall down a mountain, or die in a car crash, so all in all I'd say we were on a roll! And for a holiday at least, I'd definitely recommend the Seychelles. To our inexperienced eyes it really was paradise on earth! :)